When it comes to how people set goals, form new habits, change their life, it breaks down like this with:
- 100% of people want a better life.
- 10% of people actually try to be better
- 1% succeed
This means that out of 100 people, only 1 will achieve the big goal of improving their life. This may seem exaggerated, but research shows this is not too far from the truth.
At some point along the way, people lose motivation. They spend too much time procrastinating and not enough time making decisions. They settle into a life of mediocrity disguised as conformity, never finding any meaningful work that fires them up.
Fitting in is the most comfortable form of failure there is, and it is the direct result of a lack of motivation.
The challenge many people face is finding a compelling reason to act. Finding motivation is hard, but it’s necessary. I know the feeling very well.
During my boxing training and physics studies, there were times where I just wanted to do nothing because it was overwhelming. But I found a way to motivate myself. Sometimes I lose motivation when it comes to writing or following my diet, but I know how to motivate myself and keep going.
The path to getting more out of life will not be easy and you will want to quit, but you need to be able to ways to motivate yourself.
The Challenge Of Finding Your Motivation
If your basic needs are met and your peers aren’t pushing you to do better, you learn to accept “subpar” as “normal”. In fact, you don’t even consider it subpar. It is just life.
It’s never been easier to get stuck in a rut of endless despair. When you have endless entertainment, high-speed porn, and no one around you who works on a daily basis, it’s hard to get motivated.
Maybe you want better than what you see around you. If you do, you’ve come to the right place.
Instead of watching the life of your idols, you want to have that life instead. And to make that happen, you need to replace your procrastination and daydreaming with motivation and action.
If you can do this, nothing will stop you.
Whenever I’ve felt like calling it quits, these are some of the tips and tricks I’ve used to get my fire going and go back after what I want out of life.
How Successful People Get Motivated
This is the lowest level of motivation.
This is where most people exist. It’s a purely reactionary level.
At this level, a person does only what is needed to keep a roof over their head and food in their belly.
They lack self-control. There is no ambition for something greater. There is no dream for more.
It’s only survival, instant gratification, and living in the moment.
I hesitated to even list this as a type of motivation.
Then I remembered that many of us have improved our lives out of sheer necessity. An essential part of any goal setting strategy is not just running towards something, but also having something to run away from. Wanting to be great is awesome, but wanting to avoid becoming a piece of shit is effective.
However, there are also people who work just to exist and are one emergency away from financial ruin.
The only thing that motivates the latter group is fulfilling the basic necessities of life. They only work when their source of income is threatened.
While this is better than doing nothing, this is not enough to push you through difficulty and challenge. It doesn’t give you any extra energy to do what needs to be done to make yourself better.
Fear is a double-edged sword that can paralyze or propel.
A great source of motivation is the fear you’ll be in the exact same place one year from now that you are today.
The average person lives for about 80 years. Each moment spent in mediocrity is a moment you can never be great. Every second spent in a situation you don’t like is a second lost enjoying one that you do.
Imagine talking to yourself 10 years ago and explaining your current situation. Will you be excited about the conversation or will you dread it? Will you have an inspiring story or a worthless excuse?
If it’s the latter, let that fear drive you.
Begin living in a way that will make you excited to hear from your future self.
Success is the best revenge.
There are people who don’t think you can do anything. That you will amount to nothing. These are the people who think that you AND your dreams are stupid, unrealistic, and likely to fail.
They think you’re a joke and your plans are a game.
Proving these people wrong is powerful and liberating. When people pass on you, reject you, or view you as less than capable, your success reminds them of the mistake they made.
Tom Brady, the most accomplished quarterback of all time, never forgets about all of the NFL teams who passed on him. He may receive a lot of hate from fans around the league, but he doesn’t let it stop him from winning Super Bowls and MVP awards. He’s even gone as far as naming his production company “No. 199 Studios” to remind everyone that 198 players and 6 quarterbacks were picked before him in the 2000 NFL Draft, none of which have had even half the career as he’s had.
Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but it’s also a hot fuel that can drive to success.
4. Unrequited Love
What drove Gatsby to accumulate great wealth, Troy to kidnap Helen, and Menelaus to start a Ten Year War to get her back? A girl.
Unrequited love can be a powerful motivating force.
People have gained a skill or changed dramatically in an attempt to impress someone special. Some may argue that it’s not healthy, but none can argue that trying to make a certain person fall in love with you can inspire a superhuman level of drive and resolve.
Become the best version of yourself to attract the people you want. The magic is that self-improvement leads to confidence, which leads to attraction to people with common values or shared goals.
Your original person may or may not match your improved idea of the perfect partner.
(Read: “You Can’t Force Relationships To Develop”)
Some people will do anything to look good.
Don’t feel bad if you’re motivated by attention and flashy objects. Use it as motivation to work your ass off so that you can live a life of extravagance.
If you have opulent taste, then you need to get off your ass and get creative to earn a commensurate income. You need to be able to afford good food to be in shape.
Once you’re in shape, you need the best fitting clothes, a fly set of shoes.
Vanity isn’t cheap and it can be destructive, but to upgrade your lifestyle you have to upgrade your work ethic.
(Read: “How To Be An Attractive Man”)
Most people see a vacation as a once or twice a year activity. Even if you don’t desire to travel, it can motivate you to acquire more resources so that you can make it a regular part of your life.
The type of trip you take doesn’t need to be expensive and you don’t need to go far. You just need to experience a different location.
It’s one thing to see a picture of the beach or visit the train station. It’s another experience entirely to feel the sand beneath your feet or take a train across the country.
If you can’t justify the time or expense of a longer adventure, commit to a short trip to an unfamiliar location at least 50 miles from home.
Anyone can make this work.
Even something as small as going to a new restaurant can make you curious and motivated to see more of the world. It can also make you better at solving problems, which contributes to your level of confidence and motivation.
Research shows that travel is also excellent for your mental health, making you more creative, open-minded, and resilient. This leads to mental strength.
It’s easier to feel motivated when you feel capable of taking on the world.
If you want to be generous, you have to accumulate the means to be generous with first.
Most people are content to make a few $20 donations to their favorite cause, however, you can do more. If you want to do more, you need to have more, and knowing this can make you more motivated.
You will work harder to earn more money. More money allows you to make bigger donations. Or it will push you to build a bigger network so that you can have more effective fundraisers.
You will produce work to get your time back to do what’s important to you without relying on the charity of others.
If you want to be generous, you have to first be motivated.
Confidence makes you more motivated.
Because when you’re confident, you can do more.
Think of the runner. As the runner goes from running 10 miles per week to 30 miles per week, he is more confident in his ability. This confidence makes him more motivated to run.
We all want to be good at something.
This drive can make you a superstar but at the very least, it can be harnessed to give you control over your life.
There are people who want to be more than competent.
Exceptionalism focuses on being better than those around you. It is motivation via the fear of being average.
Most people just go through the motions in life. Few strive to be the best at whatever they do. If you can harness this need to stand out, then you’ll have no problem outworking those around you.
In your quest to demonstrate your superiority, you’ll inevitably do great things that will improve your life.
(Read: “How To Be Competitive”)
10. Adrenaline Rush
This is my least favorite way to get motivated. However, I must admit that some people do great things because they’re chasing a rush.
The problem is that if you aren’t disciplined, you will chase the rush anywhere you can. This results in drugs, thrill-seeking, and questionable choices.
Chasing an adrenaline rush can range from a basic workout to high stakes gambling.
Some people don’t know how to slow down because to them, there are only two modes: standing still and all out.
This is the purest motivation.
This is the place of obsession and perfectionism. You probably won’t start here but all paths converge at this point. You will move past vanity, revenge or exceptionalism. You will simply be driven to master your craft.
Once you commit to mastery, you’re on a never-ending journey.
This journey may not consume your every waking moment, but it’s what you build your life around. Very often, we refer to what we seek to master as our “life’s purpose”.
Kobe Bryant–the 18 NBA All-Star, 5 time NBA champion, and 2x Olympic Gold Medalist–once said:
“If you want to be great at something, there’s a choice you have to make. We all can be masters at our craft, but you have to make a choice… there are inherent sacrifices that come along with that.”
Anyone is capable of mastering their craft, but it takes sacrifice. This quest for mastery will drive you to overcome the challenges you face en route to this mastery.
Summary Of Ways To Get Motivated
- Unrequited Love
- Adrenaline Rush
One or a combination of a few of these motives can get you the life you want. If not, then stop complaining and get comfortable living a life of mediocrity. It’s not so bad. Life is easy.
That’s why you aren’t motivated in the first place.