Why I Spent Years Inside the Red Pill Movement
This isn’t a hit piece. It’s not about stirring up drama or chasing clout. I’ve spent years inside the red pill space, and I’m creating this because too many men are getting stuck in a mindset that costs them peace, growth, and genuine connection.
I’ve had dinner with Andrew and Tristan Tate as a guest at a War Room meeting. I’ve appeared on Fresh and Fit alongside Rollo Tomassi. I’ve sat down with Rich Cooper on Entrepreneurs in Cars. I’ve spoken at Donovan Sharpe’s CME convention, and I delivered a talk at The 21 Convention titled “Being Red Pilled in a Blue Pilled World”—that speech has over 170,000 views and continues to circulate in the community.
In that time, I’ve met a lot of high-profile figures in the red pill community, and I’ve made some solid friends. There are thoughtful, respectable men in the space. But unfortunately, what often gets the spotlight isn’t the wisdom—it’s the nonsense. At first, I thought this was just the loudest voices drowning out the reasonable ones.
But over time, I came to a harder truth: those abrasive, extreme voices aren’t on the fringe. In many cases, they are the ones shaping the conversation. And that’s a problem that more people in the red pill world need to recognize.
Before we go any further, let’s get clear on what I mean by the term red pill.
The Red Pill’s Promise — and Its Price
The red pill is a loosely connected online movement made up of men’s self-improvement and dating content, built on the belief that modern society lies to men—especially about women, relationships, and masculinity.
That part isn’t wrong. I embraced the red pill because I saw how much confusion and suffering men go through trying to navigate today’s world.
But the way the red pill community delivers that truth—and what it demands from men in return—is where things get ugly.
Unlike a lot of people who throw shots at this community from the outside, I’m an insider. I’ve shared meals and stages with the biggest names. I know them as people. And I’m not here to name-drop for clout or to start beef.
If I’ve had a decent conversation with someone, I’m not going to blast them online. That’s not my style. I’ll block before I bicker. I argue against ideas—not people. But when the ideas start resembling indoctrination more than growth, we’ve got to talk.
The Red Pill vs. Street Gangs — A Surprising Similarity
Street gangs work because they promise safety and protection in a hostile environment. And it’s not just the rival gangs they offer to protect you from. Your mom doesn’t understand you. Your pops ain’t ever been around. The school says you’re a problem. So on top of worrying about the ops, you’re also an emotional mess who just wants reassurance.
Then you start to see the big homies who are banging—despite coming up in the same hood and starting off with even less than you—somehow got the money, the cars, the girls, and the respect you don’t have and so desperately want. Maybe you don’t even want a fly whip. You just want to be able to buy some new gear, be the man at something, and at least get a smile from one of the cute girls.
You probably already see where this is going, but before we get there, I’ve got to drop a stat on you that blew my mind: the average age a young man joins a street gang is 13.
That lines up perfectly with puberty—right when a boy starts getting interested in girls and stops being treated like a little kid.
I imagine that’s why gang recruitment skyrockets at that age. Cliques form, and some of those cliques might come after you. Society stops seeing you as a child. You feel misunderstood. You want girls, but they don’t want you. And life is just hard.
Guidance at this time is critical. And if a boy doesn’t have it, he’ll go looking for it. The difference between the red pill and street gangs, in this regard, mostly comes down to where you grow up—whether you’re in the hood or not. The other big difference is that the red pill reaches guys of all ages, as long as they feel like society has screwed them over and they’re looking for those “big homies” who promise that if you join the gang, you’ll get everything you’ve ever wanted.
What the Red Pill Gets Right
I don’t have a problem with the focus on self-improvement that comes with the red pill. A man trying to make himself as attractive as possible to gain the attention of the opposite sex generally—though not always—works out great for everyone. The man typically gets in shape, learns new skills, breaks out of a socially isolating bubble, and overall becomes a more engaged member of the community. And in theory, women end up with more quality men to choose from. These are good things. They’re necessary for a healthy society.
If the manosphere stuck to self-improvement and teaching men how to vet women, we wouldn’t have a problem. But it ain’t all good, because that’s not where the music stops. It spirals into paranoia, bitterness, and fear. The red pill hustles backwards.
It tells you that unless you become some jacked, hyper-masculine player who “never trusts women,” you’re weak. It tells you vulnerability makes you a simp. That relationships are traps. That connection is a liability.
And so, ironically, the red pill turns you into a slave to the very thing you claim to hate. You don’t trust women—but you can’t stop chasing them. You don’t want love—but you’re terrified to be alone.
That’s not freedom. That’s just another kind of prison.
Why Red Pill Self-Improvement Fails Most Men
So much of what you see in the red pill space today is just complaining, bitterness, and vitriol—without any real actionable steps for solving the problem. And before anyone watching this wants to argue that “teaching you how to get laid, paid, and never trust women” is a solution—no, it isn’t.
Look, I’m not going to be the guy who tells you that you just have to “be yourself” and all the game you learn is unnecessary. If it wasn’t clear, I’m a big believer in becoming better with women. But here’s the thing: very few men find the red pill because they struggle with dating from day one.
By the time any guy with eyes and a working brain hits his teenage years, he understands what girls like and don’t like—at least on a surface level. Men have always known that being a leader, being cool, and staying in shape massively boost your chances. We know we have to make moves. And eventually, we all learn the pain of heartbreak.
Most of the men who find the red pill are like me. They got burned—maybe a girl cheated, or they got destroyed in divorce court, or something else that left them bitter and confused. My own red pill origin story? At 23, I was dating a girl who got pregnant by some bum she worked with. Even after she knew the baby wasn’t mine, my mom still moved her in, hung up pictures of the kid everywhere, and somehow acted shocked that I wasn’t coming around anymore.
I was angry. And that’s how most men find the red pill. We felt rejected, let down, and misunderstood. Then, some bros on the internet show up, claiming they’ve got the answers to your pain. But most of what’s out there is just constant talk about what’s wrong with women.
Every red pill guy goes through something like the five stages of grief:
- Denial that the world works this way.
- Anger that it works this way.
- Bargaining that maybe only parts of the world are this way.
- Depression once they see how much of it is true.
- And finally—acceptance of this new “truth.”
But here’s the catch: the red pill sells you clarity, but only if you stay angry. It offers a sense of control, but keeps you dependent on bitterness.
At this point, I want to be clear: I think a lot of red pill ideology contains truth—but that truth only applies if you’re operating at a certain level, in certain environments.
In my video about being street smart (linked in the description), I talked about how you only gain street smarts by being in that environment and suffering along the way. Once you’re out, those skills can help you—but they come with serious downsides. The red pill is the same way. It can help you navigate certain aspects of the dating world and certain women. But—and take this from someone who knows first-hand and has talked to countless men with similar stories—those skills can make it difficult, if not impossible, to build a relationship if that’s what you really want.
And that’s one of the biggest problems in the red pill space today. The big names and so-called leaders are stuck in the anger phase. Of course, they don’t think they are. But if your main talking points revolve around criticizing women and pointing out their flaws, then you haven’t learned anything new. You’re still just angry—maybe for different reasons, but it’s anger all the same.
And let’s be honest: some of that anger is incentivized. The angriest takes get the most views, because anger sells. But anger also keeps you stuck.
The Red Pill, Feminism, and the Cycle of Division
Now take a look at the personal lives of most of these so-called “high-value” red pill guys. One guy talks endlessly about what it means to be a high-value man—but he lives in a rented condo, hasn’t spoken to his kid in years, and hasn’t had a serious relationship since Obama was president. Others get into petty beefs online, constantly crashing out—ironically, just like the behavior they criticize in women.
Like I said at the start of this video: I don’t beef online. I block, I ignore, I move on. Real masculinity isn’t about gossiping or crashing out on social media. It’s about knowing when to walk away.
Most of these men are stuck chasing women they don’t even like—because that’s all they know how to do.
If you’re following a guy in his mid-30s whose only flex is how many girls he smashes, then you’re following someone who peaked in high school mindset—not manhood.
Getting laid is easy. You can pay for that. But emotional connection? Trust? Building something with someone you respect? That’s the real challenge. And most of them won’t do it, because that would mean facing their fear of rejection, moving past their pain, learning from their mistakes, and risking something that could be taken away—but is also one of the most powerful and meaningful drives a man can have.
It’s not just about the biological urge to procreate. It’s about building a legacy, raising a family, creating something that outlives you. And when you see it that way, the red pill isn’t so different from the modern feminism it loves to criticize. Both make people chase things that leave them empty—whether it’s careers over family, or conquest over connection.
If the red pill is the Bloods, feminism is the Crips. Both sides are built on division. Both rely on worst-case scenarios and loud, bitter voices.
Feminists will still say “women make less than men,” even though women now outperform men in graduation rates, college enrollment, and even average earnings in certain age groups.
So what happens? Boys come of age confused, angry, and feeling lied to. They go online, and the red pill offers something that feels like clarity. It’s not always the truth—but it is an identity. And just like a gang, it tells them: stick with us. We’ll protect you. We’ll show you the way.
But there’s a cost—and too many boys, too many men, don’t realize it until it’s too late.
How to Break Free from the Red Pill Trap
There is value in red pill truths. But the delivery system is broken. So here’s my advice, especially if you’re young and looking for answers:
Vet the men you follow.
If a guy’s biggest achievement at 35 is “I get hoes,” that’s not a high-value man. That’s a man stuck in adolescence.
If he tells you the only metrics that matter are money, muscles, and women—but he’s angry, isolated, or addicted to his platform—ask yourself: is that someone worth becoming?
You want to win in life? Work out your trauma. Build something real. Cultivate peace. Learn to connect—not just conquer.
And if you want a plan to avoid becoming one of these broken older dudes living off bitterness, watch the next video I’ve linked: 3 Mistakes That Will Ruin Your Life.
