Every guy's motivation for becoming an attractive man

In this guide I will teach you how to be an attractive man. I will cover the 20% of things that are responsible for 80% of your success with women. 

This is not a relationship, dating or game guide. My desire is for you to chase fewer women because there will be more chasing you.

In addition to the small 20 percent that will deliver 80 percent of your results, I’ve focused on the things that will make a noticeable difference in 3-6 months.

I don’t like quick & easy, but I understand that fast successes motivate long term commitment to a goal.

This isn’t a complete list of how to be an attractive man. There are a several resources on the internet and in books that can help you cover the finer points of getting women. Regardless of your intentions.

This is one of the best books on becoming an attractive man.

Learn why women do what they do so you can meet more!

Read more here!

Girlfriend, fuckbuddy, wife, one-night stands– hell even more female friends. There are entire tomes that teach the subtle psychological strategies to maximize the other 20 percent of your success.

My goal is to build a foundation. It’s like math: I could try to teach you multiple techniques of integration. However, if you haven’t learned arithmetic, you won’t even be able to perform the “basics” of advanced mathematics. 

Let’s learn the basics of how to be an attractive man.

How to Be An Attractive Man: Looks

The first part of how to be an attractive man is external. While a man is more visually stimulated than a woman, appearance is still important for women. As a man, you are judged in three categories: Grooming, physique, and face.

You can’t do a thing about your face. But the other two things—unless you have Quasimodo like deformities—can take attention from your face and make you very attractive.

How To Build an Attractive Physique

An athletic body is the first step in how to be an attractive man

The plan is to hit the heavy weights and reduce your body fat to 10-14%. Anything above and you won’t stand out. Anything below is past the point of diminishing returns.

80% of you can comfortably get into that range. The remaining 20% percent is a split. Some people can easily go lower and some have trouble getting to 14.

Don’t aim for an ideal weight. Aim for an ideal BMI. Aim for 23 to 27. If you’re 5’10’’, you’ll look best at about 11 percent body fat and weighing 175 to 190. It’s not freakishly huge.

You will have the look of a hybrid model/athlete. Unless you are severely obese, you can get to your ideal numbers with 3-6 months of eating well and working out right.

Simple Grooming Tips For Looking Your Best

Grooming is simple. Maintained facial hair or clean shaven and short hair. Unless you’re black or balding, avoid baldheads.

Keep enough hair on your head to demonstrate you have it, but not so much that you look homeless. Maintain it and that’s it.

The notable exception is for black guys who can rock dreadlocks. Armpit and pubic hair are the type of things that don’t matter until they don’t matter. Keep your nails and nose hairs trimmed and handle all body odor (deodorant and toothpaste).

The Fashion Basics For Men

A beautiful pair of Italian Dress shoes will make you more attractive

The basic rule for shoes: don’t wear anything you’d run in and keep it clean. Jeans should be well fitting; not hipster tight or gangster baggy. Shirts should fit well and show off the work you’ve done to get to the ideal BMI and body fat percentage.

T-shirts, button downs and v-necks do a good job highlighting your physique. The better shape you’re in, the better simple clothes look on you

To sum it up:

  • Get to a 23-27 BMI
  • 10-14 percent body fat
  • Keep your face shaven and hair and nails cut low
  • Get clothes that fit
  • Shoes that are clean with no bright colors

How to Be An Attractive Man: Hobbies and Skills

Singing is a great skill to make you more attractive

Every man needs a skill or hobby to separate him from the masses. At one end of the spectrum, there are men who play video games all day. On the other end, there’s the “The Most Interesting Man in the World”.

Your skills and hobbies demonstrate that you’re interesting and active. They also display status and intelligence.

Women also find not caring with other people think attractive.

Read the relationship section of my book for my insight into this.

Learn more about it here

What Makes a Hobby Attractive?

I won’t tell you which hobbies and skills are best for attracting women. Every personality is different, enjoys different things, and likes different girls.  Pick hobbies and skills which align with your natural tendencies and talents.

Here are the guidelines for skill selection. It doesn’t have to meet all of these criteria. However, the more you can check off the faster you’ll see results.

Makes you the center of attention

Lead singer of a band, a competitive fighter, involved in politics at an electable level (even if its campus politics, the point is you are the one running, not supporting), or the teacher of a group of people.

Places you around women

Foreign language classes that women take, dance, yoga, charity/volunteer work

Forces you to compete with other men (in person)

Any sport, politics, any team, poker

Demonstrates applied intelligence

Foreign language, musical talent, astrological/occult knowledge, reading people

Demonstrates applied athleticism

Sports and teams, gym rat, crossfit

A few things about this list.

  1. You can overlap almost all of these hobbies. The notable exception: There is no hobby where you simultaneously compete with men AND are surrounded by women. (note: being around is not the same is being on display)
  2. Your hobby or skill touches on as many points as possible.
  3. There are groupies for every male endeavor.  Especially in applied intelligence hobbies or athletics. 
  4. There are two ways a skill/hobby will make you attractive. The first is putting you around women. The second is making women admire you. If you HAVE to choose, pick the one that puts you around women. Things that make women admire you take more time to develop. 
  5. HAVE MORE THAN ONE. In the world of socializing and romance, 1+1 = 3. This is how you position yourself as a network bridge and have some mystery. You’ll do better if you take a Spanish class, learn salsa and join an intramural team than only learning Spanish.

How to Be An Attractive Man: Social Skills 

If you know how women think, you can easily become more attractive.

Learn how women think and what you can do about it!

Read more here!

Your first goal is to make friends that do things. Before I go any further, understand that I’m not telling you to get rid of your old friends. Friendships built over the years are more important than women. However, if you want to meet women and your current crew doesn’t, you’ll have to adjust accordingly.

Confidence is also powerfully attractive

I teach how to develop confidence in anything in this guide.

Watch the video on it that has over 100k views here

Making friends is one of those “simple, but not easy” tasks. An excellent primer on the subject is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Make Friends and Influence People.” 

Consider it required reading. I also have a very short primer here. Take that knowledge, and apply it to whatever groups of people you plan to make friends within.

Ideally, it will be in groups where you have chosen to develop your hobbies and interest. This will expand you to their friends. A lot of them will be women. These new friends will do a lot of the work for you when it comes to meeting women.

Simply learn how to make friends, be polite, and be interesting (which will come from your hobbies). This gets you invited to many places. Eventually, you’ll have more parties and events to than your schedule can accommodate. There are lots of women at these places.

The Two Most Important Things For Making New Friends To Meet Women

Two things about social skills.

First, remember this article is about what’s fast and effective. I’m telling you to be social and friendly; not to run Game.

If you think you have Game but you still aren’t meeting women, you need to work your appearance and become more interesting.

Second, you need to befriend SOME women. A lot of guys have a “pussy or bust” attitude. Don’t do this. First, desperation kills your chances. Second, she has friends and some of them will be attractive.

If you can intentionally befriend a girl (not settle for the friend zone), you’ll meet many of her friends. However, there comes a point where you have to make a conscious decision to move beyond the platonic.

How to Be An Attractive Man: Approaching Women

There’s a good reason why approaching is listed last.

Let’s imagine you got this guide in parts. You worked on your body. Then you got some hobbies and skills. After that, you learned to socialize. Once you master the art of making friends, you get the last part.

You’d meet some girls just being yourself. This is before you go out with the intent to approach a woman.

Some guys think they know how to approach because woman always approach them. If you’re that lucky, more power to you. At some point you won’t be so lucky. Follow this basic primer.

The Only Goal To Have For Approaching Women

Not the most attractive male, but he's trying

Your only goal for approaching is to get a date. That’s it.

A lot of guys in the game talk about flakes—girls that act interested but never return texts or will, but won’t meet up. I’m not flake proof, but my flake rate was lower than average.

The best way to do this is by using social skills to make a real connection. This way, the girl doesn’t feel like you were a creepy stranger. This is easier than it sounds

You can go read a bunch of stuff on game or for the quickest results, refer to and read Dale Carnegie’s book I’ve already recommended.

You’re probably lacking in some of the basic skills to build new social connections and this will help. 

A Summary of How to Be An Attractive Man

Good example of an attractive male

Get in shape, get interesting, get social, go meet girls. That’s the 20% which accounts for 80% of your success.

If you master those things, you will succeed. After all, your grandfather didn’t have access to this knowledge and somehow you still got here.