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dating and relationships

7 hobbies to meet women (effective)

To date successfully, you need hobbies that make you seem confident and interesting to women. Here’s my framework for picking hobbies to meet women.

Ed Latimore
Ed Latimore
Writer, retired boxer, self-improvement enthusiast

If you’re a high-value man, you won’t need to try hard to meet the right woman.

As you live your life and devote yourself to your hobbies, you’ll something interesting will happen…

You become magnetic.

How you spend your time when no one is around is what defines your character. If your evenings are filled with porn and video games, what kind of person are you becoming?

On the flip side, if you’re taking a cooking class, socializing, gardening, learning an instrument, reading, and making the most of your time, women are going to love you.

And best of all, you won’t even need to look for them. They’ll naturally be part of your social circle. And the ones who aren’t will find you. Meeting women in person or online will be easier than binging your favorite Netflix show.

If you’re tired of dating apps and praying that Mrs. Right will come knocking, then this article will give you what you need to become an influential, high-value man who attracts his worthy woman into his life.

Why are hobbies important?

Women only date assholes and guys with money.

Isn’t that right?

If you’ve always struggled with this, I’m going to let you in on a secret about women that’ll completely change the way you think.

They don’t care about what you do; only how you make them feel.

It’s why artists and musicians are always popular, even if they’re broke. They move women in ways that other men can’t.

The same goes for the adventurous, big-muscled biker that rebels against authority.

These men are exciting and they make a strong impression.

If you meet a woman and she asks you what you do, will she be more excited by the man who obsesses over online forums and watches Netflix, or the one who can speak French, salsa dance, climb a mountain, and writes books?

It’s a not even a contest.

Having a wide range of hobbies signals to women that you’re confident, interesting, and even mysterious.

Your hobbies and interests will captivate them. You’ll never be without things to talk about. If you have a wide range of interesting hobbies and skills, then you’ll stand out as the best choice and be able to attract a higher caliber of woman as well.

Hobbies vs. skills

Another aspect of being an attractive, high-value man is that is the ability to provide safety.

She needs to know that you can be relied upon if something breaks, you get attacked, or if there’s a crisis.

Some activities, like painting, might purely be for recreation, whereas joining a boxing gym or fixing cars develops competence for dealing with sudden problems and dangerous situations. While there is some overlap, this the line that separates skills from hobbies.

Hobbies are recreational and have almost no practical use beyond enjoyment. Skills are developed to solve a problem or gain an advantage in the real world. All skills can be hobbies but not hobbies can be skills.

  • If you can fight, that’s a skill. If you like playing fighting games on Xbox, that’s a hobby.
  • If you can fix cars, that’s a skill. If you like taking road trips, that’s a hobby.
  • If you can grow food, that’s a skill. If you’re a “foodie”, that’s a hobby (and an unhealthy one, at that).

A high-value man has a mix of both skills and hobbies. You can’t just fill your time with painting and watching movies anymore than you can only work on cars and hit the gym. While that would make you more attractive than a guy who played video games all day, it would do nothing to make you relatable. Hobbies make seem just a little more human and interesting.

All work and no play makes you dull. All play and no work makes you useless. You need both skills and hobbies. Ideally, you’re able to mix both.

Here are some great skill-focused hobbies to get started with:

  • Boxing, Muay Thai, BJJ, or any practical combat sport
  • Cooking
  • Maintenance/Handyman-type skills such as fixing cars, electrics, and plumbing
  • Wood and metalworking
  • Lifting weights (which you should be doing anyway)

You don’t have to become an expert, but having some baseline knowledge in each area will go a long way in not only attracting women but also ensuring that you become a strong, competent man that can be relied upon when shit hits the fan.

Become more attractive without turning into a d-bag

Get the short free guide here

What are the best hobbies to meet women?

Alright, this is why you’re here. You’re tired of meeting boring, one-dimensional women on dating apps, and you came to the realization that you need to sort out your own life first.

Good.

I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, especially with women, and what you’ll learn in this article is distilled from years of wisdom and refined through countless mistakes.

The goal with all of my writing is to take you from flaccid to flourishing; from boring to brilliant. Basically, to take your current self through 12 rounds of brutal punishment and emerge from the fight stronger than ever before.

But, you’ll never go the distance if you don’t have the right foundation.

The anatomy of a great hobby

You can’t expect to become the talk of the town if your idea of a good time is playing video games, watching movies, and speed dating.

Fortunately for you, there’s a formula to all of this.

The best hobbies follow a set of guidelines. When you write out a list of hobbies you want to get involved with, use these questions to figure out if it’s a good fit:

  • Does it put you in the limelight?
  • Is it popular with women?
  • Does it allow you to get competitive with other men? (online hobbies don’t count)
  • Can you show off your intelligence without being arrogant?
  • Alternatively, can you show off your athleticism?

Not every hobby needs to fulfill each of these criteria, in fact, that’s probably impossible, but by making sure you take part in a wide range of activities you set yourself up with the best chance of success.

For example, my favorite hobbies are chess, languages, boxing, and travel. Each one is different from the next, but they all come together to form a well-rounded persona.

Photos of Ed Latimore engaged in his favorite hobbies: chess, languages, boxing, and travel
My favorite hobbies: chess, languages, boxing, and travel

Are there more than 7 hobbies in the world? Sure. But, you don’t really need more than 2 or 3 to skyrocket your attractiveness.

In fact, having too many hobbies will mean you never become great at any of them. They won’t allow you to become truly passionate, and this can have a negative effect on your life - and your chances with women.

So, with this in mind, I’ve cultivated a list of the 7 best hobbies to meet women:

  1. Salsa dancing. This one’s a no-brainer. It’s usually packed with women, you’ll meet new people, you get to show off, and it allows you to ooze confidence while quite literally sweeping women off their feet. Dance classes are pretty cheap, and there’s an abundance of them no matter where you are in the world.
  2. Learn a language. There’s real value to language learning, as it opens you up to a whole new world of experiences. But, on top of making the dating pool 5x larger, you’ll also become much more attractive to any women you meet. Languages, especially European ones, are romantic, exotic, and don’t take much time to learn. I recommend French or Spanish to start with, although a lot of guys are learning Russian specifically to meet women.
  3. Play an instrument. I shouldn’t have to explain this one. Chicks love musicians, and that’s not going to change any time soon. Remember what I said about attractiveness? Women react to how you make them feel, and serenading them with a personal song will pull on those heartstrings until they snap. Piano, guitar, and violin are all great options to start with.
  4. Photography. Why this hobby is so great isn’t immediately obvious. It’s not social or athletic, but it taps into a very primal part of a woman’s personality. Women want to look good. Why do you think there’s so much emphasis put on being youthful and radiant? It’s not difficult to get started with, you can even use your phone. Learn the basics of framing, light, and portraiture, and you’ll be well on your way.
  5. Combat sports. This is something every man should be doing regardless, but it has the added bonus of turning your attractiveness meter up to 11. You better not bitch about gender roles, as it’s your job to provide safety and strength to your woman and women don’t like weak men. It’s that simple. Boxing is my sport of choice, but you can go for muay thai, BJJ, kickboxing, or any others. Just avoid shit like Aikido and Tai Chi. These won’t keep you safe. If you’re not sure how to get into boxing then read this post.
  6. Improv. Joining a comedy group does a few things. You’ll gain confidence, meet new people, and you’ll become much better at making women laugh. Not only that, but being able to react to real-life situations with spontaneity will keep things exciting in your relationships.
  7. Cooking. You don’t need to become a Michelin star chef to be a good cook. Just learning the fundamentals with a couple of cooking classes will put you miles ahead of most other men that can barely cook eggs. Cooking is romantic, it shows you care, and it’s a great idea for a second or third date. On top of that, you get to eat better, become healthier, and look better as a result. It’s a win-win.

As I like to say, in the world of romance 1+1=3. Having a few varied hobbies goes a long way in the world of dating. If you’re dressing sharp, keeping yourself in good shape, and putting yourself out in the world, meeting women will become as easy as breathing, and before you know it you’ll meet a significant other worthy of your status as a high value man.

Now, we’ve covered some of the best hobbies to meet women, but how do you choose which ones to take up?

Daily audit: What are you doing with your free time?

As the old saying goes; what gets measured, gets managed. When it comes to self-improvement and reinventing yourself, you need to know where you’re starting out from.

And, oftentimes, it’s better to start with addition than subtraction. For example, instead of cutting out all your favorite foods and going on a diet, just incorporate more healthy proteins and vegetables. The rest will sort itself out.

How are you spending your time right now? What do you do when you wake up, on your lunch break, when you finish work, in the evenings, and on weekends?

Get a notepad and pen and audit your free time over the last week.

Track everything you did, and give each activity a score of -1, 0, or +1. Things like brushing your teeth are a 0, spending the evening on YouTube is a -1, and working out or meeting friends is a +1.

Tally up the scores and give yourself a total. Where is most of your time and energy going?

If your goal is to meet women, are your current hobbies giving you the best chance of doing that? Or are they actively preventing you from meeting people and leveling up your love life?

I’m gonna guess it’s the latter.

So, you need to choose one or two hobbies, either from the list or above or your own mind, and commit to doing them this week.

If you want to take up salsa, look up classes in your area, make a phone call, and sign up. Book some cooking classes, join a book club, sign up to some groups on meetup, and put some skin in the game.

Your social life is never going to improve if you don’t take action, so don’t waste time trying to figure out which is the best hobby or most effective, just pick some and get started.

A man that can’t make up his mind is an unattractive man, as there’s nothing women hate more than than indecisiveness and a lack of leadership. It’s a major red flag in a man. Fix it and make sure you don’t have any of these other 10 red flags I wrote about.

If you don’t like them, which is probably likely at the start, don’t worry. Give it a few more tries, then move onto another one if it’s really not for you.

However, you need to remember that passion is built, not discovered. You’re more likely to become passionate about something if you dedicate a lot of time to it, so don’t expect to fall in love with every new hobby you take part in.

You don’t want to look back in 10 years time with regrets, which is why holding this mirror up to yourself and really committing to change is crucial.

A little goes a long way in the dating world, so make sure you’re doing everything you can to get ahead.

A recap of the best hobbies to meet women

In order to meet great women you need to become a great man.

Hobbies aren’t the be-all end-all of becoming a high value man, but they play a very important role.

Men with a variety of interests are romantic, mysterious, confident, passionate, and exciting.

If you want to become attractive to women, you need to make them feel something. Hobbies are one of the best ways to do this.

You can either take up some of the 7 hobbies I mentioned above:

  1. Salsa dancing
  2. Language learning
  3. Playing music
  4. Photography
  5. Learning to fight
  6. Improv
  7. Cooking

Or you can choose some of your own.

Whichever activities you decide on make sure they’re in line with who you want to become and set you up with the best chances possible to meet women with similar interests, making sparks fly from the moment you first meet.

Become more attractive without turning into a d-bag

Get the short free guide here
Ed Latimore
About the author

Ed Latimore

I’m a writer, competitive chess player, Army veteran, physicist, and former professional heavyweight boxer. My work focuses on self-development, realizing your potential, and sobriety—speaking from personal experience, having overcome both poverty and addiction.

Follow me on Twitter.