Skip to content

Weekly dose of self-improvement

Sign up
dating and relationships

How to tell if you’re an attractive guy

Want to know if you’ve got more going for you than you think? Read this article on how to tell if you’re an attractive guy.

Ed Latimore
Ed Latimore
Writer, retired boxer, self-improvement enthusiast

Handsome men make more money, get promoted more often, and even get out of court cases with more lenient sentences.

But how can you really know if you’re an attractive dude if it’s not blatantly obvious?

Keep reading to discover how to tell if you’re an attractive guy and what to do if you’re not.

What do women find attractive?

Before we get into the signs that you’re definitely a good-looking guy, I want to talk a little about what women find attractive.

Attractiveness is multifaceted, but when you first meet a person, physicality plays a large part in whether or not you two are going to have chemistry. Both men and women prefer partners that are just better looking.

According to several studies performed since the late 70s, what women look for in men physically is:

Height and build are thought to be sought after for evolutionary purposes. Height and physique denote strength, health, and social status.

Next up are facial features. Women typically go for more masculine jawlines but on average women like men’s faces that aren’t too masculine or feminine. There is research to back this up.

Due to evolution or social pressure, humans seek youthful faces. For men seeking women, it’s a sign of health and fertility. For women seeking men, a youthful face is seen as kinder and more reliable.

Signs you’re an attractive guy

Alright, now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff. ​How do you know if you’re appealing to the opposite sex?

If any of the 7 traits below sound familiar, you’ve got that sauce.

1. People are surprised when you talk about your challenges

People inherently believe that attractive people are happier and have more good things going for them. So when you share any insecurities or a challenge you’re facing, it’s not uncommon for people to be shocked to hear this if you’re a good-looking guy.

It’s also not uncommon for your challenges or insecurities to not be taken as seriously.

This is called the physical attractiveness stereotype. It was discovered in 1972. Today, we call it the “halo effect.”

You see this more with attractive women. It also explains how beautiful women with terrible personalities always seem to have friends. Robert Green talks about this phenomenon in the Art of Seduction. He explains how women actually use this power to gain social status.

Unfortunately, the halo effect wears off as you get older.

Guys have this problem but to a lesser extent. You may find it hard to find quality women to date or friends that genuinely care about your problems.

2. Body language

Humans give off hundreds of nonverbal signals. If you know what to look for, they serve as subtle evidence of your attractiveness.

For example, if you’re out in public and find yourself making eye contact with random women. Eye contact actually enhances your attractiveness and makes people like you more.

Women might also raise their eyebrows at you or do a number of other things like:

  • Act awkwardly around you
  • Wet their lips
  • Move closer to you
  • Turn their body in your direction
  • Smile
  • Touch you

3. People seek your advice

This is another symptom of the halo effect. Attractive people are seen as more intelligent so people seek advice from them more often.

Being smart may be a gift or maybe you had to work for it.

I’m a physicist that was labeled “gifted” at a young age. But I know firsthand that intelligence can be learned like anything else—at least to an extent.

One thing is for certain, beauty pays. In his book of the same name, author Daniel Hamermesh studied the economic effects of attractiveness in men and women.

You know what he found?

Attractive men make more money over the life of their careers. Attractive men are promoted more often, given higher raises, and deferred to by other men.

And all because you’re seen as smarter.

4. You believe you can improve

Believing that things can get better is having a growth mindset. Dr. Carol Dweck developed the concept of a growth mindset in the study of school children and inherent intelligence. I won’t go into the details here but people who believe that they can work on things to get better, usually improve.

You’re more likely to be attractive if you have a growth mindset. Optimists are more socially appealing and also have higher-quality relationships. People with growth mindsets do the work necessary to achieve their goals. They believe talent may play a part, but it’s a booster seat at best.

People with fixed mindsets live in scarcity, which brings me to my next point.

Let me help you go even further, even faster, with better results

  • Are you tired of feeling stuck, unsure of how to make the tough decisions that life throws your way?
  • Do you struggle to communicate effectively, even when the stakes are high?
  • Have you fallen into a bad habit or way of negative thinking that is costing you time, money, or relationships?

I’ve been a homeless alcoholic whose addiction nearly ruined all of his friendships. I held delusions of grandeur that protected my ego from the harsh reality—I was a loser, and I couldn’t stand the face I saw when I looked in the mirror.

But over the past 15 years, I snatched my life back to become a champion boxer, published author, expert chess player, and devoted husband and father. Along the way, I’ve learned how to change my thinking, inner dialogue, and external communication to make better decisions.

Let’s talk so I can help you do the same faster without hitting rock bottom.

Learn more

5. You’ve taken the Red Pill

What is the Red Pill?

Just in case you’ve never seen the movie the Matrix, I’ll walk you through the concept. The Blue Pill is life as it is—a comfortable lie.

You walk through life keeping your head down. You never try to accomplish anything worth having. You seek to please people and never make waves.

The Red Pill is the opposite. It wakes you up from a life of mediocrity and demands that you make something of yourself. It forces you to face hard lessons repeatedly until you get them into your head. You are honest with the world and with yourself.

Simply taking the red pill doesn’t mean you are immediately attractive. In fact, you’re more likely to find people that are turned off or jarred by your honesty.

It doesn’t mean be a dick. It means operating from a place of courage, confidence, and abundance.

No one wants to be around a person that operates chiefly from a place of low self-esteem. And it’s not attractive to anyone that means you well. You may be able to get by for a while, or your whole life. But it’s not fulfilling.

Do what you can to build your confidence. Not to meet more women, but so you can be the kind of man others rely on.

Believing that life will give you anything you ask of it, as long as you put the work in, is operating in abundance. You believe that if there is money to be made you can make it. You also believe that if you want something you can have it—if you are willing to work hard.

How to tell if you’ve taken the Red Pill

When you first take the red pill you may feel a little confused and in denial. Then you start to bargain and convince yourself that the world isn’t this way. Eventually, you accept it and embrace that you have to work for everything you want.

When I first took the Red Pill I was angry.

I couldn’t believe I’d wasted so much of my life chasing attention, distractions, and temporary pleasures. I blamed everyone and everything for my problems but me.

I was an alcoholic. I was broke. I was a loser.

It wasn’t until I finally looked myself in the mirror and accepted these things that I was able to build myself into a man I could be proud of.

Life doesn’t get easier when you finally start to accept the Red Pill. It gets different. Good different.

6. You have a personal style

If you dress well, you’re already ahead of the attractiveness game.

Aside from having symmetrical features and a chiseled jawline, how you dress says a lot about you. People determine your social status, income, and personality from how you dress.

And it only takes a few seconds.

From your hairstyle to your outfit, dressing well shows a charisma that draws people to you.

Which brings me to the next sign.

7. You understand the other aspect of attractiveness

Attractiveness is a mixture of sex appeal, compatibility, and personality traits. When you understand this and actively do the things that help, that’s a good sign that you’re more attractive than you think.

For example, if you smell bad, you can hang up any chances of being attractive. Good hygiene is non-negotiable.

Then there is something called magnetism. It’s like charisma. It’s the way you use what you have to your benefit.

Ever wonder why you see the hot girl with the guy that looks like a bum, but he’s really confident? That’s magnetism. Guys that don’t fit the normal standard of “hotness” but have no problem dating? That’s magnetism.

When you play up your features and invest in yourself, you attract more people and create more success in your life.

What to do if you’re not that good-looking

I’m not going to pretend that everyone reading this is hitting the “World’s Sexiest” lists.

A lot of what people find attractive are things you can’t see. Sure, looks help but they just get you in the door. They don’t keep people around.

The person who builds self-confidence is the one who wins.

The list below should help you out but I’ve written an entire no-BS guide on things you can do right now to be more attractive. Check it out: How to be an attractive man.


Self-mastery is about conquering your emotions and your ego to accomplish more things in your life. If I can teach more men the importance of this, I can die a happy guy.

I had to learn the hard way to overcome my personal demons and ego.

Learn to detach from situations and view them objectively. Keep your word to others and yourself. And don’t blame anyone else for the bad things that happen in your life.

Even if they caused it, it’s your responsibility to overcome it.

Do the work. Face reality.

You’ll be more self-confident if you do. Be careful though. Ego loves to masquerade as confidence.

During one of my previous lives—if you’ve read my story you know I’ve lived four up till now—I thought I was pretty savvy.

I dated beautiful women. I was confident. I dressed well (or so I thought). But one day a girl I was dating hit me with ‘I’m having your baby.’ Turns out it wasn’t mine or the other man she’d said it was.

I went through a series of bad relationships like that before I confronted my ego.

I never wanted to find myself in this state again.

So I did the work to overcome it and found a woman I’ve been with now for over 9 years.

Dress better

Dressing well also helps your confidence. When you look better you feel better. You also attract better-quality partners.

If knowing what clothes to wear are outside your comfort zone, get help. There are tons of videos on YouTube that explain how a proper man should dress to increase his appeal.

Or, my favorite: Tanner Guzy’s comprehensive course, Dress Like a Man. Click the link to find out more about it.

Find what looks best for your body type, skin tone, and ideal life. Do it today.

Learn how to dress like a man, from a man

If you look good, you’ll feel good and do even better.

Unfortunately, men are rarely taught the values of style, dressing well, and picking clothing that gets them massive attention.

Too many guys are taught that it’s effeminate or  “gay” to care about their appearance but NOTHING could be further from the truth. Tanner Guzy is who I used to get my style right and who I wholeheartedly recommend for any guy looking to do the same.

He’s got many offerings depending on your budget!

Learn more

Become a more interesting person

Finally, learning new things makes you more interesting to more people.

Learn a new skill. Take up a hobby. You need to do something where you interact with others.

I play chess. Hobbies challenge you, force you to see things from another perspective, and give you a chance to meet new people.

If you need help picking a good hobby, you should check out my article on the subject: 7 hobbies to meet women.

Wrapping up

Here are the clues that you’re an attractive guy:

  1. People don’t believe you when you say you have insecurities
  2. People hit on you and give you flirtatious body language
  3. People look to you for advice
  4. You pursue growth
  5. You’re honest with yourself
  6. You’re charismatic
  7. You understand that attractiveness can be built on and improved

At the end of the day, you may not have been born an Adonis figure but that doesn’t matter. You can make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex with a little effort in your look and some hard work on your personality.

Ed Latimore
About the author

Ed Latimore

I’m a writer, competitive chess player, Army veteran, physicist, and former professional heavyweight boxer. My work focuses on self-development, realizing your potential, and sobriety—speaking from personal experience, having overcome both poverty and addiction.

Follow me on Twitter.