About Emotional Mastery

Do women care about money? 7 reasons the answer is yes

Are all women gold-diggers? Here’s why money is so important to the opposite sex

Ed Latimore, author, blogger, and retired pro boxer
Ed Latimore Author, retired boxer, self-improvement enthusiast

Let’s just cut to the chase.

Women care about money. They care about money a lot. Yes, even the ones who say that money doesn’t matter, doesn’t buy you happiness, blah blah blah. It’s all crap.

As a man, if this bothers you, you’re going to have a tough time in the dating world. You’ll be disappointed again and again. You might even find yourself angry upon realizing this fact. Remember, anger can be an initial emotion you feel when you take the Red Pill.

I’m going to tell you something that will help you feel better: you should care about money, too.

If that doesn’t help, it’s likely you have less money than you want or need, and that bothers you. It should. Use this as a motivator to find ways to increase your income and net worth.

That being said, money isn’t the only thing women care about. In fact, the reasons most women care about money have less to do with money itself and more to do with what it tells them about you.

In this article, you’ll learn seven reasons women care about money and how to show them you possess the traits they’re looking for even if your bank account doesn’t yet reflect that.

1. Focus

Amassing wealth requires focus and the ability to stick with something long enough to see the results you desire. This is important especially to women who are looking for commitment. It means you’re not a quitter.

Even women who are interested in only casual relationships prefer men who know how to see things through—to finish what they started.

Other ways this shows up:

  • Going to college
  • Running a successful business
  • Having a successful career

The main point here is: don’t let women become your distraction even once you’re in a relationship.

It might sound counter-intuitive, but trust me on this. You’ve probably heard that women like a great deal of attention. They do. But you can shower your lady with attention in your free time. Your focus is what attracted her. If you lose that, it won’t matter if you’re not bringing home the bread, you’re going to lose her anyway.

2. Access to resources

Almost everyone has heard this already.

It may sound cliché that women are looking for men to be the breadwinner, but it’s true. Science backs this up1 women choose men who are able to acquire resources for living and caring for offspring. A long time ago, that may have meant your ability to hunt and kill your food for the day and provide safety from outside factors.

Today, the landscape is different but the principle is the same. You eat what you kill.

Your bank balance denotes your ability to “bring home the bacon,” provide healthcare (safety) for your family, and access to necessary resources. Whether that’s through your full-time gig or entrepreneurial ventures.

The amount of money you make equals the size of your kill.

Earning a high income doesn’t indicate you’re unwilling to do hard work, but it may show poor judgment if your effort tremendously exceeds your outcome. And poor judgment is a threat to your financial and physical safety.

In today’s world, money isn’t the only way to access resources. A smart man knows how to build connections. It’s called human capital.

You need at least a little bit of charisma to pull this off. Learn to vet and assemble valuable people around you who can get you into places you cannot go on your own. Of course, you have to give value as well.

3. Purpose

A man who can (and does) command top dollar for his skill shows that you’re a high performer. And the top high performers in the world have a defined sense of purpose to something greater than themselves. That’s attractive to a woman.

You may wonder why even women who have their own money care about how much money a man makes?

It’s simple. Women want men with a sense of direction and dedication to something bigger. Naturally, the world is a chaotic place. Direction provides grounding and security and the potential that the future will be better than the present.

How do you show you have a sense of purpose?

  • Have a goal and plan for its achievement
  • Have a standard that you live by
  • Be the initiator with women you are interested in then plan the date and be decisive
  • Know what type of woman you are looking for in a potential mate. Decide what role she will play in your life and take her there.

You’ll know what works and if you need to adjust your approach by her body language.

4. Contentment

Money doesn’t buy you happiness. Experiences do. What money can provide is access to more experiences.

Lack of money is one of the major causes of stress for many Americans, according to this study by Northwestern Mutual. Financial pressure or instability can cause anxiety, insecurity, and fear. And none of these are a good look when you’re just meeting someone.

Dating should be fun. It’s hard to be fun and relaxed if you’re worried about money. Women are not interested in men who are moody or emotionally unstable. Stress can kill sexual attraction as well.

The best way to combat this is?

Build a stable income that provides access to the experiences you want in life. While you’re building the funds, find a way to have the experiences you want with the resources you currently have.

Don’t bother hating yourself while you’re building either. Growth, as we’ll cover next, is also an attractive quality. Be confident and have a plan. Find joy in the challenge of increasing your income.

5. Ambition

Next up, when you’ve amassed personal wealth it’s an indicator that you have ambition. No one, especially women, wants to be around someone decidedly going nowhere. Why? Because it indicates a lack of growth and limited future potential.

A growth mindset means you believe that through effort you can improve your current standing, learn more, do more, etc. It’s an innately attractive quality and a necessity for long happy relationships.

True ambition stems from your desire to accomplish a goal. It’s easier to muster when you love the thing you’re pursuing but love is not a requirement. For example, you can become ambitious about caring for your family to the best of your ability but dislike your work. Your passion for your family drives you to show up every day.

Other ways to show ambition:

  • Have non-negotiable time set aside to work on your goal
  • Listen when people talk and respond accordingly adding to their statement
  • Keep going no matter what

6. Confidence and novelty

Novelty is the human need to experience new things. It keeps you interesting which also heightens or compliments your physical attractiveness.

Think of the romantic starving artist. Women are drawn to this type because he’s dedicated to his craft and a free thinker willing to pursue the unknown. The notion of the unknown carries not only the attractiveness of newness but shows confidence in pursuing something that may be counter-culture.

Compare this to tech nerds that have enough money to exist in the upper-middle class to the 1% of income in the country. Men in the technology field are rarely thought of as getting the most attractive women.

Why?

They tend to be introverted, generally awkward with people, and lack confidence in social settings. It’s hard to be interesting and attractive to women when you can’t communicate well.

So do women want men with money, you bet. But being confident and interesting will do measurably more for you in the dating world than simply having an inflated bank balance.

Ambition and confidence are two of the top qualities women look for in men. Working on these will help you become more attractive and the type of man women seek out.

7. Status

Historically, women were only able to climb the social ranks by marrying a man of means. From this standpoint, money denotes status which indicates social mobility, access to resources, safety, and all of the points we’ve covered up till now.

Status speaks to your influence in your organization, family, or friend group.

Though many modern women have their own means of financial stability, they still look for men to be doing the same or better financially. And the best women are looking for men that can take what they’ve already built and bring it to the next level.

But status also attracts gold diggers—women who are only concerned with your credit card limit. Good-looking and charismatic rich men don’t struggle to find women, they struggle to find high-quality women of value. As long as you have money, you’ll never find a shortage of people in the business of separating you from it.

History is littered with men that married based on their material wealth and found themselves alone once that wealth was gone.

Ways to avoid gold-diggers and transactional relationships:

  • Avoid buying women you barely know, expensive gifts
  • Let your personality do the speaking
  • Save your money for women that show they’re interested in you as a person
  • Try coffee dates before first dates to gauge the interest a woman has in you
  • Don’t exchange gifts for the promise of sex or a relationship

What to do if you don’t have money?

Being poor is a mindset more than it’s a state of being. A poor man looks at the world he is given and says he doesn’t have what he needs. A rich man looks at the world he is given and makes it into what he wants and needs.

But if you’re short on funds, I feel you. Lacking financial stability is a real thing.

And it can cause stress if you’re looking for a potential mate and not simply a one-night stand.

Here are few tips to help you out if your paper is a little tight:

  • Learn a new skill to increase your income potential. This will also improve your status, ambition, and personal growth
  • Work on your confidence. Lacking funds can make you think less of yourself and ruin your confidence which is the fastest way to turn off the majority of women. When you work on yourself you build up your attractiveness and additionally, your confidence.
  • Take on a new hobby or interest. This will make you more interesting and put you in a position to meet single women.
  • Always be improving - Work on your personal style, your conversation, your mindset, etc. You’ll signal the growth, security, ambition, and potential women value when you’re always improving.

Wrapping up

Do women really care about money? Bottom line—yes. But you’ll need the traits that having wealth signifies if you’re going to find a high-quality woman that sticks around.

Here are those traits again:

  1. Focus and the ability to stick with something until it’s achieved
  2. Access to resources, security, and safety
  3. A higher purpose
  4. Experiences and happiness with life
  5. Ambition and forward momentum
  6. Confidence and novelty
  7. Influential status among your family and peer group

References:

  1. Buss, David M., Shackelford, Todd K., Sage Journals, Published 1/1/2008, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/147470490800600116, accessed Sep 13, 2021 


Ed Latimore, author, blogger, and retired pro boxer
Ed Latimore Author, retired boxer, self-improvement enthusiast

Further Reading

What to do when someone hates you for no reason
How to increase willpower (the easiest way to break bad habits)
Hobbies to make friends (and what to do once you’re there)
Understanding toxic relationships