About Emotional Mastery

No one gives a shit about you

You ask yourself, “Why nobody gives a damn about me?” I have the answer. No one cares about you. It’s not personal. It’s just human nature.

Ed Latimore, author, blogger, and retired pro boxer
Ed Latimore Author, retired boxer, self-improvement enthusiast

You gotta understand something if you ever wanna be something:

No one cares about you. No one gives a shit about you.

It’s not personal. It’s just human nature.

This applies to everything you need or want. It applies to all the people in your life, including your parents and your family.

No One Cares What You Want

Your boss doesn’t give a shit if you come to work. He cares if you make his job more difficult because of your absence, but he doesn’t REALLY care what happens to you.

It’s not malicious. He’s just got his own shit to worry about. So he doesn’t give a shit about you.

That girl you want to date doesn’t care that you can’t get her off your mind. The flu isn’t out to get you. It just took an opportunity to do what it’s supposed to do. It doesn’t give a shit about you.

People care about themselves and how a situation will increase what’s valuable to them. If you understand that sentence, you’ll never have a problem again.

It’s so important that I’ll write it again, phrased differently, and in bold letters. No one gives a shit about you unless there’s something in it for them.

No one cares, the book

If you want to be better at not caring, read my book

That’s ok, because you don’t really care what they think either.

Before you talk about people who volunteer or do charity, reread the boldface. The good souls who donate their own time, money, and energy do it because it increases feelings they personally value.

Research published in the Journal of Neuroscience and reported by The Times shows that

“People are more likely to give when they think it will make them feel better. They donate, for example, when they feel hope about putting smiles on those expectant and suffering faces. And that hope, or similar feel-good sensations, are driven by the brain‘s reward systems.”

People aren’t altruistic so much because it helps people, but more because it helps them feel good. In other words, it’s not so much that they give a shit about you personally. They just enjoy the feeling they get from helping.

Maybe that feeling is warm and fuzzy. Maybe it’s acceptance by their God. Sometimes it’s relief from a tax write off. It’s all done out of self-interest. Your desires are secondary.

It’s the same with that girl you’re mentally undressing. She doesn’t give a shit that you think she’s sexy. That’s not gonna make her want to date you.

What’s in it for her? Are you good-looking? Are you interesting? Do you have money and status? What do you bring to the table that’s valuable to her?

She doesn't care if you want to fuck

She doesn’t care that most guys want her. What do they bring to the table?

If you want more from the world, you have to give more to the world. The world doesn’t owe you shit. No amount of sulking or protesting will ever change this.

Life isn’t fair. Well actually, it is fair because it’s unfair to everyone.

You Can Have Whatever You Want… If You’re Willing to Pay The Price

Maybe the lifestyle you want is only possible with a job that requires selling ability. Go become a damn good salesman.

Maybe you want to be well connected to famous and powerful people. Well those people have a lot to offer so you better offer huge value in return.

If you want a sexy and intelligent girl, you better bring the body of Adonis with the mind of Einstein. Because here’s the second part of this dirty secret that no one tells you:

Whatever you want, you are getting it from an auction — not a department store.

Not everything in life is winner-take-all, but it’s best to go after it like it is. You have to compete for the good things in life because everyone wants them.

Competition raises your level so that you can take advantage of other favorable opportunities of similar quality.

Maybe you don’t get that job, or that girl, or get into that school: but now you’re good enough to get into a comparable or better situation.

The money you want, the girls you like, the experiences you desire—they don’t give a shit about you. They give a shit about what you bring to the table.

Flying first class because I don't care

No one cares that I want to fly overseas in first class. I have to make that happen.

There’s no reason why you can’t have anything you want. All you have to do is be willing to pay the price.

The rest is up to you.


Ed Latimore, author, blogger, and retired pro boxer
Ed Latimore Author, retired boxer, self-improvement enthusiast

Further Reading

6 harsh truths your parents never told you
How to overcome fear: 7 lessons from boxing
How to make friends as an adult in 7 steps
How to stop complaining & take action instead