You gotta understand something if you ever want to be something: no one gives a shit. This applies to everything you need or want. It applies to all the people in your life, including your parents and your family. Once you become an adult, no one on this planet gives a shit about your wants or needs. Except you. 

Your boss doesn’t give a shit if you come to work. Sure, he cares if you make his job more difficult because of your absence, but he doesn’t REALLY care what happens to you. It’s not malicious. He’s just got his own shit to worry about.

That girl you want to date doesn’t care that you can’t get her off your mind. The flu isn’t out to get you. It just took an opportunity to do what it’s supposed to do and you gave it an opening.

People care about themselves and how a situation will increase what’s valuable to them. If you understand that sentence, you’ll never have a problem again. It’s so important that I’ll write it again, phrased differently, and in bold letters. No one gives a shit about you unless there’s something in it for them.

Before you start talking nonsense about people who volunteer or do charity, reread the bold face. The good souls who donate their own time, money and energy are doing it because it increases feelings they personally value. It’s not so much they give a shit about you personally as they care about the feelings they get from helping.

Maybe that feeling is warm and fuzzy. Maybe it’s acceptance by their God. Often times, its merely the relief from a tax write off. It’s all done out of self-interest. Your desires are secondary.

It’s the same with that girl you’re mentally undressing. She doesn’t give a shit that you think she’s sexy. That’s not gonna make her want to hook up with you. What’s in it for her? Are you good-looking? Are you interesting? Do you have money and status? What do you bring to the table that is valuable to her?

If you want more from the world, you have to give more to the world. The world doesn’t owe you shit and no amount of sulking or protesting will ever change that fact. Everything you want is there for the taking if you’re willing to pay the right price—and I’m not talking about money.

Maybe the lifestyle you want is only possible with a job that requires selling ability. Go become a damn good salesman. Maybe you want to be well connected to famous and powerful people. Well those people have a lot to offer so you better offer huge value in return.

If you want a sexy and intelligent girl, you better bring the body of Adonis with the mind of Einstein. Because here is the second part of this dirty secret that no one tells you: Whatever you want, you are getting it from an auction; not a department store.

Not everything in life is winner-take-all or zero-sum, but it’s best to go after it like it is. You have to compete for the good things in life because everyone wants them. Competition raises your level so that you’re in position to take advantage of other favorable opportunities of a similar quality.

Maybe you don’t get that job, or that girl, or get into that school: but now you’re good enough to get into a comparable or better situation.

Powerful ways to build the confidence to compete

I've written more extensively about confidence in this book.

Learn more about the book

But the bottom line is that the money you want, the girls you like, the experiences you desire—they don’t give a shit about you. They give shit about what you bring to the table. There is no reason why you can’t have anything you want. All you have to do is be willing to pay the price. The rest is up to you.