A man’s rules for a happy relationship, part 2

By Ed Latimore Last modified

In the last post, I gave you the 4 mindsets required to build a happy relationship. Part 2 teaches you how to screen for the traits you find most desirable.

I say nothing vulgar, disrespectful or mean. However, this post may anger you. It’s going to anger you if you date a girl with these traits. Or if you’re a woman with these traits. Here are three ways to deal with this potential anger.

Close the page and don’t read any further. Seriously. I love your support, but you have the choice to read other pages. Writing your experiences and thoughts will always piss someone off. That’s the cost of doing business. It’s an acceptable risk as long your intentions are noble.

Remember this is only my opinion. It’s not right or wrong. It’s not even real. I don’t take my own opinions seriously enough to even bother defending them, let alone get angry over them. You shouldn’t either.

Realize people aren’t perfect. Having one trait doesn’t make someone a terrible candidate for a happy relationship. However, having many significantly raises the likelihood to trouble.

If you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, the one hit barks. If this piece pisses you off, one thing you DEFINITELY shouldn’t do is share it and increase my Alexa rating, page views, and affiliate revenue.

That would just make more people angry and make my piece more popular. If you hate it, then you definitely don’t want to do that, right? Enough with the disclaimer.

Every trait is an indicator of self-discipline and foresight. Lack of self-discipline makes it difficult to build something worthwhile (like a happy relationship with will last).

Functional relationships are all alike, but each dysfunctional relationship is dysfunctional in its own way. While each relationship has a different dynamic, there are constants in the best relationships I’ve observed and been part of.

Strong Relationship With Father Makes A Happy Relationship Possible. You could stop reading right here. This is the 80/20 rule for deciding if a girl will make a happy relationship. It’s the closest to a guarantee (assuming you did the self-development work in Part 1) she will make a great partner.

She is more likely to have a positive opinion of men and respect them. There’s the possibility her father was weak and subservient to her mother. However, if she holds him in high regard this means he was a strong masculine influence. He likely influenced her opinion of men in a positive way.

Non-Smokers Are The Best Choice For A Happy Relationship. First, let’s state the obvious: any substance abuser won’t make a happy relationship. Most guys understand that a crackhead is a bad choice for a relationship.

The same goes for a drunk as well. Heavy drinking and hard drugs (hard drug being anything that can’t be consumed as it grows naturally) are a non-negotiable deal breaker for most men.

For the lighter vices like smoking, avoid it. Assuming you have your health in order (as you should if you’ve done the work in part 1), a woman with worse health habits will frustrate you.

Smokers also have a lower level of self-discipline and self-restraint — two things you want someone to have that you commit a significant amount of time and resources to.

Restrictive Diets Tend to Go In Hand With Happy Relationships. Diet and exercise are often grouped together. To me, they’re two sides of the same fitness coin. Though they’re both important, people seem to have a bigger problem with diet than exercise. I think I understand why. This understanding is key to realizing why it’s important for a quality to screen for.

It’s easier to start a new activity than stop an old one. More specifically, more self-control is required to maintain a pleasing appearance through diet than exercise.

Ultimately, many traits come down to discipline because it’s emotionally and mentally draining (as well as physically dangerous) to be with a woman who lacks self-control.

The Nature of Her Friendships Tell You If She’ll Make A Happy Relationship. You need to know how to assess female friendships. They aren’t conducted the same way men’s are. There is a saying that describes the difference between male and female friendships:

“Men insult each other but never mean it, while women compliment each other and never mean it.”

In other words, a woman who speaks unfavorably of her friends isn’t particularly unusual. With that said, all of the keepers I’ve met never did this. Since the point of this series is to give you the tools to make a happy relationship, this isn’t a good a trait for a woman to possess regardless of how benign.

I don’t mean talking about a friend’s obviously poor lifestyle choices. Blatant hypocrisy is real issue. It’s one thing to criticize someone’s shoes. It’s another to criticize their drinking habits when yours are similar or worse.

Here friendships with men should be assessed on a bell curve: too many male friends is just as alarming as none at all. When a woman has many male friends, there’s already a masculine presence in her life. What can you, one man, hope to offer in place of many varied men?

Remember that her well for masculine energy is finite. If it’s filled with many small drops ( a bunch of male friends) or a large well (a strong close heterosexual male friend or actual relationship), there isn’t room left to bond and form a happy relationship with you.

Knowing Romantic History Is Crucial To Form A Happy Relationship Continuing with the bucket analogy. Each time you put water in or take water out the bucket, you do a small amount of damage to it. It’s barely noticeable, but eventually a dent or crack shows up. Then it’s incapable of working properly. Once the bucket is broken it is beyond repair.

I don’t know the exact number where you encounter a serious increase in problems (like fidelity and emotional control) but generally speaking, the more old lovers a woman has had the less able she is to bond with new lovers. If you want to get into a serious relationship, you have to be aware of this fact.

Her Hobbies/Accomplishments Tell If a Happy Relationship Can Happen. Beauty is attractive. Pleasant fun girls are a great distraction. However, a happy relationship requires more than a pretty yes woman.

It’s at this point I remind you this guide is for the man who wants to enter a relationship lasting longer than 6 months. Some guys just want a pretty face around until it becomes too boring or stressful.

I’m not hating that game. I’m just saying that this guide isn’t for them.

Girls who spend their weeks drinking at happy hour, watching Netflix and working a boring office job aren’t interesting. Unfortunately, this most girls. You need someone with an interesting hobby or side gig.

Great conversations abilities are the result of a rich life. A life that’s been lived beyond the bar stool, the couch, or the work.

No Bullshit Physical Disfigurations If You Want a Happy Relationship. I used to have a strict “no tattoos” policy. The current girlfriend doesn’t have tattoos nor do the prior two. However, after discussing this topic with some people I respect, I’ve revised my stance.

Tasteful tattoos probably don’t signify anything. Especially if it’s something with personal meaning (important dates or achievements).

1 or 2 two tattoos is also meaningless. However, excessive amounts of tattoos or tattoos in a place where it’d be strange if a family member touches is a red flag.

The same goes for piercings, weird hair colors or strange haircuts. Also be wary of excessively short hair. The rule about hair length is simple: if you could see the girl from the neck up and from the back, would you know if you know for sure you’re dealing with a woman?

The moment you have to hesitate is the moment you are dealing with too short.

It’s always a gamble, but now you have a better chance. Remember: the point of this post series of posts is to serve as a guide for men who desire happy relationships. None of this stuff matters if you just want brief fun.

However, if you want a girl for 6 months or longer, it’s important to start with a strong foundation.

Part 1 laid the foundation for yourself. Part 2 laid the foundation for deciding if a girl is worth your time.