Who Wants It More?

I used to think my biggest competition was people with the most to gain–the guys who want it more and are completely obsessed. This conventional line of thinking makes a lot of sense. The guy who values the ass of a woman at the bar is going to compete harder to get a piece of it than you will.

The man who wants to be champion more than you will fight harder. The man that wants more money will out hustle you. However, there is another type of competitor that is much more dangerous than the man who wants it badly.

The worst street fight and toughest boxing match I’ve ever been in were both with guys who had done time. They weren’t doing much else besides breaking the law and hurting people, in and outside the ring. A guy that doesn’t give a damn doesn’t have any problems breaking the “rules” of fighting. They weren’t as skilled me, but I had to ice my face and get stitches after each bout.

Having someone work harder than you is humbling, but it’s infuriating when someone breaks into your home and takes the things you worked hard for. You could have a gun, security, or they go could to prison, but they don’t care at all. What do these situations have in common?

These people have nothing to lose. Having nothing to lose, in and of itself, does not make someone a ridiculously vicious opponent. It’s when nothing else in their life matters BUT the thing you both covet that they become a serious problem. It’s damn near impossible to quantify desire, but compare these two characters:

One that wants something really bad but needs some balance in his life


A guy who cares so much about getting the one thing that all of his energy actions and time were spent on it acquiring AND he was willing to go outside the rules to get it

The first guy’s motivation would be like great, but it has limits. For example, both men want a Ferrari. Man 1 also values his freedom, life and relationships. Man 2 will shoot him in the parking lot, take the keys and drive off with his Ferrari. Prison or the fact that Man 1 might be packing heat too means nothing to Man 2.

Though it might appear to the casual observer to be the same driving force, differing only in degree of intensity, these two men are driven and controlled by two very different—albeit fierce in their own right—demons.

I know how to detach myself from the outcome of a fight. I don’t know how to be obsessed to the point where I’ll wrap my fists in Plaster of Paris to gain a deadly advantage. Detachment makes me focus and perform better. Plaster of Paris might also do the same thing. Getting caught being detached won’t ruin my fighting career and potentially put me in prison for assault with a deadly weapon.

On the flip side, I’m pretty good at defending myself and my loved ones from danger without approaching the deadly force limit. But if you took away my earning power, my family and my friends, and chopped my dick off, then I’d probably kill a guy just for saying something that seemed sarcastic. Beware of the man with nothing in his life but the thing you want. You might actually want it more, but he wants nothing else.

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