No matter what your problem is, the solution is the same. This is because all of your problems have the same thing in common: YOU. If any part of your life is in shambles, then the first place to look for the source is the mirror. Once you are staring the problem in the face and you admit that he is the source of your woes, then the you have to get that bastard under control.
Things happen to you. Many of these things are random, unfair and undeserved. You can’t control them but you can control how you react. You can’t control your genetics but you can control your diet. You can’t control how people treat you but you can control what you tolerate. You can’t control who rejects you but you can control how you feel about yourself. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. Self-control is the only control anyone really has.
Show me a victim and I will show you someone who has relinquished self-control in attempt to abdicate their personal responsibility. Self-control means responsibility for everything in your life. Many people aren’t ready to hear that everything in their life is there because they brought it forth or allowed it. Even if they do accept it, they just assume that it’s too late to fix anything. It is never too late to fix anything. Setbacks, damages, insults, and injuries happen, but what are you going to do to make sure they don’t happen again?
When bad things happen in the lives of most people, their first question is “How did this happen”? It doesn’t matter how it happened because rarely does the answer to that question give you any meaningful insight. A far better question to ask is “How did I let this happen”? This is the only question that will produce an answer that will allow you improve and learn from your calamity. Evaluating thigns this way positions your mind to look for solutions to a problem that YOU can actually implement. Any other method of inquiry removes your personal responsibility and allows you become a victim.
Developing self-control does not ensure that fewer bad things happen to you. It does, however, greatly increase the probability that the bad things present in your life are there because YOU want them there. You did not read that incorrectly. If you are control of what you do and how you react to things, how else would most tragedy happen to you unless you allowed it?
The mere act of seeing the world through the lens of personal responsibility allows you to make connections between everything in your life. It allows you see that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and getting exactly what you deserve because you created this life through your choices—or lack thereof. We live in a wonderful era of humanity where a large percentage of the adult population has complete autonomy over their lives and thus their decisions. Use this power wisely or the world will have no sympathy for you.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” — Marianne Williamson