How to Get People to Do What You Want
Getting people to do what you want is simple but not easy.Don’t appeal to logic and facts. Only appeal to emotion. This is why sales tells you to focus on benefits rather than features. This Prada shirt might fight better and last longer, but think about how you’ll feel when in response to everyone asking, “Who made that shirt?”, you get to say “Prada.” People will think you have money and treat you like a celebrity. When most people spend 200 dollars on a Prada shirt they aren’t thinking about the superior quality of the materials or the craftsmanship (features); they are thinking about it makes them feel (benefits).
This is the same principle used to get you to harm your body. Doing what feels best instead of what is most sensible has turned everyone into an idiot at least once. We don’t do shots of 80 proof liquor because they taste great and improve health. We do them to feel part of a group and to escape reality. The feeling of social approval is powerful for a lot of people. If people made decisions based on logic and features, then prisons would be virtually empty. All it takes is a few moments of simple calculation to see that the time served for any crime is so disproportional (until you get in the range of serving 25 years for murder) that you should never break any law. Still, it happens every day because the human being responds to what feels for its ego and not to its actual livelihood.
Don’t appeal to logic and facts. Only appeal to emotion.
Therein lies the secret for getting what you want from people. Your request must be seen as a benefit to them. No matter how ridiculous it sounds, if you can tailor the request to benefit their feelings then you have greater chance of it being fulfilled. This is why people do shit like this . Yes a weak person does something like this, but the fact remains that she probably wasn’t thinking about killing the girl until the request was made. Once again, if people made decisions based on logic and reason instead of benefits and ego, the prison industry would vanish overnight.
To get a person to do what you want, discover their fears.
Another effective persuasion technique is to play on fears. Any company selling alcohol knows that men don’t want to be ignored by women. This is why their commercials have lots of hot chicks running around and having a good time with a guy (appearing to) drink their brand. Or they show a guy way cooler than you drinking their alcohol, because everyone knows girls like cool guys. The message is simple: drink this and you will be cooler and well liked. Don’t drink this, and you can continue enjoying your lonely and sexless nights. You buy into this—despite the fact that after about 5 or 6 drinks you will be much less liked by those around you—because you associate alcohol with attention. Think you’d buy alcohol regardless? Despite other commercials for competing domestic beers, Dos Equis and The Most Interesting Man in the World killed it). That beer has been around longer than the old man encouraging you to stay thirsty.
If people made decisions based on logic and features, then prisons would be virtually empty.
All encounters are based soundly on this principle. Anytime you tolerate deal breaker behavior from someone you are dating, the reason you don’t move on is that you imagine life without this person. This is a painful image so you avoid making it a reality. No matter how bad things are, your ego reasons that you are better off with them than alone. When you think about leaving, your worst fears of loneliness kick in. When they act like the person you were in love with they give you the opposite of what you fear and thus begins a vicious cycle.
To get a person to do what you want, discover their fears. Once you learn their fears, reinforce them either through words (telling what could happen), actions (making it happen), or implication (threatening it). Then offer a unique solution to their fear. This is essentially what happens in every sale, business negotiation, and barter. We have merely distilled the general essence to be applied to any situation. If you are at a loss in your particular situation of how to apply this to get someone to do what you want, always remember that fear is a remarkable force. People worry more about losing a dollar than missing out on an opportunity to make two more.